I do not want to gut 13,000 words. It's all I have. I like them. They're nice words. They never did no harm to no one.
Also, I appear to have a problem with plotting. Not the overall plot, that's usually ok. It's the breaking it down, pacing it out bits where... yeaaaaa, things tend to go not so good.
I've written myself into a corner I'm fairly unsure how to get out of. I do not want to go back and gut half my word count. Getting it was like pulling teeth.
I did some math, writing has been not fun for over a year now. Well over a year now.
Also, also, I think I finally have to come to terms with the fact that I am a shitty blog updater. It's always all or nothing. Either I'm blogging everyday, or weeks and months will go by with not a word. Maybe some day (preferably before I'm published) I'll learn how to find some sort of happy medium between the two extremes, because the current pattern won't work for a fan base. I hear those are pretty nifty-keen. I think it's because when I post regularly (really regularly) I worry things are either too boring, or too full of bitching about writing. I think I remember when it made me happy?
The other reason I'm a bad blogger is because I hate posting something, then revising it 15 times after. Because I'm that person. I loathe writing something and having to hand it in or let people view it immediately after. I like to let things sit so I can go over them again and fix the 50 million errors or shitty wording I usually find the next day.
One day I will learn to plot/pace better. One day writing will be fun again and not this repeated head meet stone thing it currently is. One day I will learn how to blog on a semi-regular basis.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Quick post here
up to about 11,000 words and more back story/ character fleshing out stuff that will likely never make it into the story, but is important for me to know.
Busy, busy. Not much else to say.
Busy, busy. Not much else to say.
Monday, May 4, 2009
And we're back again.
Yay problems. Yay.... yay.
:(
Word count on new story is up to 9,100. Not bad for someone who has been without computer for several days.
Bed soon. Big day had.
:(
Word count on new story is up to 9,100. Not bad for someone who has been without computer for several days.
Bed soon. Big day had.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
No New Words :(
The last few days have consisted of nothing, but running around putting out fires. All I've wanted to do is tuck myself away and write. So far it has been denied me.
Actually that's not fair. I did one good thing. I had a lovely time lunching with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Everything else has been fire extinguishing.
I'm hoping I can haz word count tomorrow, even if it is Sunday. And some rest, because I am tired. Tired of putting out fires.
Also, I want a fancy schmancy word counter, but there's no point since I have no idea how long my story will be. I supposed I could stick some arbitrary number in there. hehehe maybe I should make it the exact same as my word count for the night. ;P
Actually that's not fair. I did one good thing. I had a lovely time lunching with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Everything else has been fire extinguishing.
I'm hoping I can haz word count tomorrow, even if it is Sunday. And some rest, because I am tired. Tired of putting out fires.
Also, I want a fancy schmancy word counter, but there's no point since I have no idea how long my story will be. I supposed I could stick some arbitrary number in there. hehehe maybe I should make it the exact same as my word count for the night. ;P
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Word count
This probably won't be a regular thing, me posting word counts, but here's one anyways!
As of right now I'm at 5200. I'm hoping to get some more down tonight, we'll see.
New story doesn't really have a title. My "I need something to call it" title is Shadow Walker. Very Urban Fantasy with some light science fiction tech-type elements to it as well. Not crazy tech, little better than ours. Probably on the grim and gritty side.
There you have it.
As of right now I'm at 5200. I'm hoping to get some more down tonight, we'll see.
New story doesn't really have a title. My "I need something to call it" title is Shadow Walker. Very Urban Fantasy with some light science fiction tech-type elements to it as well. Not crazy tech, little better than ours. Probably on the grim and gritty side.
There you have it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Anyone still even following this?
If so, man you are wonderfully patient. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Life has been busy and up and down and everything. I owe a few people blog/journal/post responses and I am SORRY for those as well. :( I r very bad.
Writing news. First, the bad news. I am putting my 2YN novel aside for now. I dun thoughts long and hard about this, but I think it's the right decision for now. There is something wrong with it, but I don't know what and it's driving me to the point where I haven't been able to write anything meaningful in months. Even when I think I have my plot fuck ups ironed out... something still doesn't seem right. Being that this was my first attempt at a novel, this was very much a learning/growing experience. But it's stalled horribly and until I can figure it out I need to put it aside for now. I AM going to come back to it because I still believe very strongly in the story and characters. I'm not sure how a story can speak this strongly to me and still not be working, but such is the case.
Instead of spinning my wheels on it, I'm choosing to try a different route with the next one. To start with, I'm keeping the plot of this one much simpler. I had WAY too many secret agendas and double crosses in the old one. It was a pretty ambitious first piece admittedly. It wasn't meant to be, but apparently I have a hard time telling a simple story. I must complicate matters. :) Fun, but oh the ulcers it brings.
After much book reading, information consumption, thinking and percolating, I have decided to work with of my other ideas. I wanted to make sure I had a better plan for this one (in as much as I plan these things) and there were a few things I specifically wanted to do differently this time around. I think I've done that, finally.
The new story is more organized (though still nothing compared to most outliners I'm sure) and I'm taking pains to make sure I keep everything in a very small number of documents and paper. I'm also trying several new ideas out in regards to plotting, outlining and writing. I will not edit what's already been written. I love doing it, but it is a deep, dark well to fall into. I am going to try very hard to write in order this time. It sort of helps that I don't have a middle or ending planned, (ok lemme clarify, I have the plot idea and the vague way I want things to go, in general overall, but I don't have the ending scenes practically jumping for the page). Basically I don't have random scene ideas coming to me out of the blue yet. I am writing a tiny bit out of sync occasionally (as in three paragraphs down, not 12 chapters), but I get a bit of it, then go back to what I was writing and catch up. How long can I keep that up? we'll see. As long as I can.
I think the whole process took so long for a couple of reasons. 1) I really didn't want to let it go. I really wanted to figure out what was wrong with it and fix it. 2) Once I finally decided that was what I needed to do, I still had to come to terms with it. 3) I was depressed at my perceived failing. 4) I had to decide which story idea I would work with instead and how I was going to do things differently this time.
Having said all that, yesterday night I finally started the actual story writing. Between last night and today I've gotten about 3500 words down. Not a bad start.
I'm going to try very, very hard (without managing to stress myself out about it) to keep the momentum going. Every few scenes, I'm going to stop writing and briefly outline several scenes (broken up into smaller chunks). Then I'll write them out, see where things are headed and do the next chunk of scenes with that in mind, while ALSO keeping in mind the overall story plot and plan. I'm really hoping this works.
I'm also telling myself very firmly that a less than perfect first draft is normal and acceptable. I tell myself this about, oh, 50 times a day at least. For realz yo. I think it's even sinking in!
As much as I hate to give up, like the good man says, sometimes, you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em... I WILL be revisiting it someday.
Failing made me incredibly depressed and it got to the point where I just couldn't read people's posts. It's not that I'm not happy for everyone because I really am. But I kept seeing it as a constant reminder that I was fucking up. Not very helpful.
I'm going to try to get back into posting. I spent pretty much all day writing and when I get the momentum and muse I'm pretty loathe to fuck with it in any way, so I say try and not do for good reason.
Good night all, the "State of the union" the war and peace version is done finally. Sleep well.
Writing news. First, the bad news. I am putting my 2YN novel aside for now. I dun thoughts long and hard about this, but I think it's the right decision for now. There is something wrong with it, but I don't know what and it's driving me to the point where I haven't been able to write anything meaningful in months. Even when I think I have my plot fuck ups ironed out... something still doesn't seem right. Being that this was my first attempt at a novel, this was very much a learning/growing experience. But it's stalled horribly and until I can figure it out I need to put it aside for now. I AM going to come back to it because I still believe very strongly in the story and characters. I'm not sure how a story can speak this strongly to me and still not be working, but such is the case.
Instead of spinning my wheels on it, I'm choosing to try a different route with the next one. To start with, I'm keeping the plot of this one much simpler. I had WAY too many secret agendas and double crosses in the old one. It was a pretty ambitious first piece admittedly. It wasn't meant to be, but apparently I have a hard time telling a simple story. I must complicate matters. :) Fun, but oh the ulcers it brings.
After much book reading, information consumption, thinking and percolating, I have decided to work with of my other ideas. I wanted to make sure I had a better plan for this one (in as much as I plan these things) and there were a few things I specifically wanted to do differently this time around. I think I've done that, finally.
The new story is more organized (though still nothing compared to most outliners I'm sure) and I'm taking pains to make sure I keep everything in a very small number of documents and paper. I'm also trying several new ideas out in regards to plotting, outlining and writing. I will not edit what's already been written. I love doing it, but it is a deep, dark well to fall into. I am going to try very hard to write in order this time. It sort of helps that I don't have a middle or ending planned, (ok lemme clarify, I have the plot idea and the vague way I want things to go, in general overall, but I don't have the ending scenes practically jumping for the page). Basically I don't have random scene ideas coming to me out of the blue yet. I am writing a tiny bit out of sync occasionally (as in three paragraphs down, not 12 chapters), but I get a bit of it, then go back to what I was writing and catch up. How long can I keep that up? we'll see. As long as I can.
I think the whole process took so long for a couple of reasons. 1) I really didn't want to let it go. I really wanted to figure out what was wrong with it and fix it. 2) Once I finally decided that was what I needed to do, I still had to come to terms with it. 3) I was depressed at my perceived failing. 4) I had to decide which story idea I would work with instead and how I was going to do things differently this time.
Having said all that, yesterday night I finally started the actual story writing. Between last night and today I've gotten about 3500 words down. Not a bad start.
I'm going to try very, very hard (without managing to stress myself out about it) to keep the momentum going. Every few scenes, I'm going to stop writing and briefly outline several scenes (broken up into smaller chunks). Then I'll write them out, see where things are headed and do the next chunk of scenes with that in mind, while ALSO keeping in mind the overall story plot and plan. I'm really hoping this works.
I'm also telling myself very firmly that a less than perfect first draft is normal and acceptable. I tell myself this about, oh, 50 times a day at least. For realz yo. I think it's even sinking in!
As much as I hate to give up, like the good man says, sometimes, you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em... I WILL be revisiting it someday.
Failing made me incredibly depressed and it got to the point where I just couldn't read people's posts. It's not that I'm not happy for everyone because I really am. But I kept seeing it as a constant reminder that I was fucking up. Not very helpful.
I'm going to try to get back into posting. I spent pretty much all day writing and when I get the momentum and muse I'm pretty loathe to fuck with it in any way, so I say try and not do for good reason.
Good night all, the "State of the union" the war and peace version is done finally. Sleep well.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Soooo I've been pretty quiet lately both here and in 2YN. At the risk of sounding unnecessarily dramatic, I think I'm going to continue to take a break from both. The thing is, my word count is moving at a glacially slow pace. I spend more time mired deep in writer's block than I do out of it. I'm not having fun writing because I'm too busy stressing hugely over writing. I try to keep the fun part in mind, but when my mind goes into blank, stress city every fucking time, it's kind of hard to maintain a sense of fun and enjoyment. I don't know why this keeps happening other than a profoundly deep rooted fear of failure, success or probably both knowing me.
It's not enough to have people tell me "You'll get over it" or "just write" etc. If I could "just write" I would. I don't want to go into great detail, partly because I just don't want to, and partly because I just don't know what's at the root of it. I do try to read the blogs I'm following, even if I don't post much. Sorry for that, I dunno, I just find it hard lately to post about anything, even the happy comments for others in my head.
But they're there and I'm wishing everyone the best. :)
It's not enough to have people tell me "You'll get over it" or "just write" etc. If I could "just write" I would. I don't want to go into great detail, partly because I just don't want to, and partly because I just don't know what's at the root of it. I do try to read the blogs I'm following, even if I don't post much. Sorry for that, I dunno, I just find it hard lately to post about anything, even the happy comments for others in my head.
But they're there and I'm wishing everyone the best. :)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Snippet of.. Something
No idea where this came from or what it's for, but my head needed a tiny break from regular story.
Still rough cause I've done nothing but the barest or spell checks. Enjoy.
Nadia flew off the bed scrambling and gasping, one hand clasping her throat, the other reaching for a weapon that wasn't there anymore. Her eyes wide and wild. Surprise at being alive followed immediately by confusion for the same. Nathanos sat on the wooden chair across the room. Amused, composed, waiting. For a split second he thought she was going to attack him. Her eyes, if possible, widened even further when she saw him. They narrowed and she actually took a step towards him before fear stopped her.
"I lost."
"You did."
"You said the penalty for losing was death."
"It is." He said waiting for her to catch on.
"Oh, God no." If possible her eyes got even wider and she fumbled back a step, hang grasping out behind her.
"Yes." He said with a satisfied smile. He loved this part. Her head whipping back and forth she scanned the room. Her attention drawn first to her lack of a heartbeat, then to the one window in the small, round, stone room.
"I wouldn't." He warned. Ignoring his warning she ran for the window and slammed into his chest. Frowning he grabbed her and flung her back onto the bed. He sighed disappointedly and shook his head, but stayed in front of the window.
"You'll make a mess on the ground below, and hurt terribly, but you'd live. I'm not interested in climbing down all those stairs just to scrape your ruined carcass up. Besides, a deals a deal."
"I didn't agree to this. You said nothing of coming back."
"You didn't ask."
"Not...Not fair." She accused pointing her finger at him. "You can't do this!"
"I believe I just did." Murder was starting to replace the fear in her eyes when a noise interrupted them.
The door opened, before she could make a run for it a man stepped through, blocking her way. Bigger than Nathanos, he filled the doorway. Skilled as she was, Nadia didn't think she had a hope of budging him.
"Is she done freaking out yet? Did I miss the good part?" The man in the doorway said.
"No and possibly." Nathanos said with a bored expression on his face. "She was going to jump out the window."
"Ahhh." The man tsk'ed and shook his head, but couldn't quite hide the amused smile peeking at the corners of his mouth.
"They always go for the window. Admit it, that's why you always make sure they wake up here." He closed the door and leaned against it. "Who's going to train her this time?"
"This time? This time!" The woman managed to keep her voice from trembling, barely.
"You didn't tell her?"
"She only just woke up, Blaine."
"Well then," Blaine grinned wickedly. "Don't let me interrupt."
He pulled the chair over with his foot, flipped it around, and sat down, chest against the back of it, arms folded over the top portion. Unbeknownst to either, he'd watched their fight. They'd snagged a real prize this time. He hoped Nathanos handed her off to him for once.
"Now then," Nathanos said calmly, "Here's how it's going to work..."
Also, I've been trying my hand at a short story. It's that Werewolf viking thing I mentioned months and months ago. It's also already 2500-3000 words and I've only got the 3 main characters introduced. Sigh. It doesn't even read that wordy. Maybe I'm just not meant to do short?
Back to internet hiatus. I know I'm missing people's stuff on 2YN. I do apologize for that. :(
Still rough cause I've done nothing but the barest or spell checks. Enjoy.
Nadia flew off the bed scrambling and gasping, one hand clasping her throat, the other reaching for a weapon that wasn't there anymore. Her eyes wide and wild. Surprise at being alive followed immediately by confusion for the same. Nathanos sat on the wooden chair across the room. Amused, composed, waiting. For a split second he thought she was going to attack him. Her eyes, if possible, widened even further when she saw him. They narrowed and she actually took a step towards him before fear stopped her.
"I lost."
"You did."
"You said the penalty for losing was death."
"It is." He said waiting for her to catch on.
"Oh, God no." If possible her eyes got even wider and she fumbled back a step, hang grasping out behind her.
"Yes." He said with a satisfied smile. He loved this part. Her head whipping back and forth she scanned the room. Her attention drawn first to her lack of a heartbeat, then to the one window in the small, round, stone room.
"I wouldn't." He warned. Ignoring his warning she ran for the window and slammed into his chest. Frowning he grabbed her and flung her back onto the bed. He sighed disappointedly and shook his head, but stayed in front of the window.
"You'll make a mess on the ground below, and hurt terribly, but you'd live. I'm not interested in climbing down all those stairs just to scrape your ruined carcass up. Besides, a deals a deal."
"I didn't agree to this. You said nothing of coming back."
"You didn't ask."
"Not...Not fair." She accused pointing her finger at him. "You can't do this!"
"I believe I just did." Murder was starting to replace the fear in her eyes when a noise interrupted them.
The door opened, before she could make a run for it a man stepped through, blocking her way. Bigger than Nathanos, he filled the doorway. Skilled as she was, Nadia didn't think she had a hope of budging him.
"Is she done freaking out yet? Did I miss the good part?" The man in the doorway said.
"No and possibly." Nathanos said with a bored expression on his face. "She was going to jump out the window."
"Ahhh." The man tsk'ed and shook his head, but couldn't quite hide the amused smile peeking at the corners of his mouth.
"They always go for the window. Admit it, that's why you always make sure they wake up here." He closed the door and leaned against it. "Who's going to train her this time?"
"This time? This time!" The woman managed to keep her voice from trembling, barely.
"You didn't tell her?"
"She only just woke up, Blaine."
"Well then," Blaine grinned wickedly. "Don't let me interrupt."
He pulled the chair over with his foot, flipped it around, and sat down, chest against the back of it, arms folded over the top portion. Unbeknownst to either, he'd watched their fight. They'd snagged a real prize this time. He hoped Nathanos handed her off to him for once.
"Now then," Nathanos said calmly, "Here's how it's going to work..."
Also, I've been trying my hand at a short story. It's that Werewolf viking thing I mentioned months and months ago. It's also already 2500-3000 words and I've only got the 3 main characters introduced. Sigh. It doesn't even read that wordy. Maybe I'm just not meant to do short?
Back to internet hiatus. I know I'm missing people's stuff on 2YN. I do apologize for that. :(
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The problem with internet Hiatus
Is that I never know I'm going to take one until I'm already deep into it. Not much else to say atm, going to continue said hiatus for a bit longer. Haven't checked into 2YN in a while either. :( I r bad I know.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
GLAHHHHARHGLE!
It's done it to me again. I am so bad. How do I get to this point every time when I try so hard and am so diligent?! (this is the point where you the reader kindly refrain from pointing out that if I were as diligent as I say I am then clearly I would not be in this pickle again. Your cooperation in not pointing this out is appreciated. Thank you.)
Yes, yes the wailing and gnashing of teeth is tiresome. Very well. I once again find myself with a million fucking documents and a blinding need to somehow condense them into one, cohesive document. One pile instead of 50 virtual piles that mock me yet again. This time with 50% more mockery since we've already been down this path. Clearly my last victory dance was a farce and I'm being made to pay for it.
Why do I continually fail in this endeavor? I'm actually not that disorganized a person. Though I must confess, I am horrible with routine and patterns and doing the same thing the exact same way each and every single time. *shudder*
Anyways, I'm at the point, where I would seriously pay someone a reasonable amount of money to have them come in and organize all of my documents and scenes so that they are in order, there's only one document and I can sleep at night again. And write again! If I can't be as organized as I'd like to be, why do I also have a problem with not being so organized?
Fuck, fucking, fuck, fuck.
Anyone want the fun task of putting order to my chaos? Anyone? If I pay thee in chocolate does that sweeten (haHA!) the deal?
Yes, yes the wailing and gnashing of teeth is tiresome. Very well. I once again find myself with a million fucking documents and a blinding need to somehow condense them into one, cohesive document. One pile instead of 50 virtual piles that mock me yet again. This time with 50% more mockery since we've already been down this path. Clearly my last victory dance was a farce and I'm being made to pay for it.
Why do I continually fail in this endeavor? I'm actually not that disorganized a person. Though I must confess, I am horrible with routine and patterns and doing the same thing the exact same way each and every single time. *shudder*
Anyways, I'm at the point, where I would seriously pay someone a reasonable amount of money to have them come in and organize all of my documents and scenes so that they are in order, there's only one document and I can sleep at night again. And write again! If I can't be as organized as I'd like to be, why do I also have a problem with not being so organized?
Fuck, fucking, fuck, fuck.
Anyone want the fun task of putting order to my chaos? Anyone? If I pay thee in chocolate does that sweeten (haHA!) the deal?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Why Brain? Why?
For some reason I have this insane urge to create some sort of Wuxia-Victorian Gothic (clothing as well as some of the era elements)-steampunk story/world. I have no idea what that would even look like. I don't even have characters or a story idea. But man I want to make that. I don't even know how you'd go about successfully mashing those together. I am a little strange. :)
Carry on.
Carry on.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I'm in a bad mood.
so this is what came out. I leave you with a snippet.... because I really haven't written very much more and I have no idea what the plot is. But I do think it might be a short story. It's rough, it's raw, it hasn't been edited. Enjoy.
There's something incredibly satisfying about the sound of a man's head crunching into brick wall. It's not just the crunching noise, it's the way it crunches.The particular combination of crunch and smack. It's the jarring reverberation that travels back up my arm from the force of it. You can feel things shifting inside their head. Delightfully broken things. Things that aren't meant to shift. It's usually accompanied by some sort of grunting noise from the head currently being introduced to brick. I blame mom. It's her fault I'm such a violence junky.
Mom was canny old bitch. She knew that all the conflict and aggression inside her was a sword that would never go dull, never get worn down or tamed. After all, it was what she was created out of. Her very presence inflames people, makes them angry and prone to picking fights. And with their life's purpose finally achieved, there wasn't much cause for it all. I think she was tired of being the Incarnation of War for so long. So she settled down and had me --the only possible thing she could do to siphon off all that anger. But the selfish bitch didn't just halve it or something, that could of given us both problems, but probably manageable ones. No, she dumped as much of it as she possibly could into me and shot off to go sip Mai Tai's in fucking Maui. Leaving me with the armor, the sword, the horse and the biggest chip on my shoulder you've ever seen.
There's something incredibly satisfying about the sound of a man's head crunching into brick wall. It's not just the crunching noise, it's the way it crunches.The particular combination of crunch and smack. It's the jarring reverberation that travels back up my arm from the force of it. You can feel things shifting inside their head. Delightfully broken things. Things that aren't meant to shift. It's usually accompanied by some sort of grunting noise from the head currently being introduced to brick. I blame mom. It's her fault I'm such a violence junky.
Mom was canny old bitch. She knew that all the conflict and aggression inside her was a sword that would never go dull, never get worn down or tamed. After all, it was what she was created out of. Her very presence inflames people, makes them angry and prone to picking fights. And with their life's purpose finally achieved, there wasn't much cause for it all. I think she was tired of being the Incarnation of War for so long. So she settled down and had me --the only possible thing she could do to siphon off all that anger. But the selfish bitch didn't just halve it or something, that could of given us both problems, but probably manageable ones. No, she dumped as much of it as she possibly could into me and shot off to go sip Mai Tai's in fucking Maui. Leaving me with the armor, the sword, the horse and the biggest chip on my shoulder you've ever seen.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
On a humorous side note
The title for one of the blogs I follow is "blood donor." My immediate thought was, dear god, your story is bleeding you dry too?! Lol. Of course it's much different when I read the actual post. Guess it just shows where my headspace is.
Grats on a new story idea Lyra! I think you come up with ideas like most people breathe. :)
Grats on a new story idea Lyra! I think you come up with ideas like most people breathe. :)
4 Days
'Til I find out if I made early acceptance. To say that I'm on pins and needles would be an understatement. I'm having a hard time thinking about most everything else. Which is sort of killing my productivity and sleep. Definitely, yea, definitely sleep. I worry too much. This comes as a HUGE surprise to anyone who has been following this blog I know. You're shocked. Now, can we get back to the part where I mentioned that I have no fingernails and the first digit of every finger has been mysteriously chewed off by, er, aliens. Yea.
I will not beg the universe. I will not beg the universe. I will n- *gets down on knees and wrings hands pathetically* PLEEEEEEAAASSSEEEE!
In sadder news. I seriously haven't written anything of note for my story in a month. Jesus. My head does NOT want to go there and I do not know why. I have tried fiddling around with a short story idea that will not leave me alone, but the research I feel like I need keeps dragging it to a standstill. I did finally manage to wring (why yes, it IS the word of the day, how did you guess) about 300-500 words of the opening down so I guess that's something.
I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now and thus very, very stressed. Not that I take the stuff, but I do occasionally have days where it feels like mainlining prozac would be a good thing. Tappety, tappety on the vein! ;p
How y'all doing out there?
I will not beg the universe. I will not beg the universe. I will n- *gets down on knees and wrings hands pathetically* PLEEEEEEAAASSSEEEE!
In sadder news. I seriously haven't written anything of note for my story in a month. Jesus. My head does NOT want to go there and I do not know why. I have tried fiddling around with a short story idea that will not leave me alone, but the research I feel like I need keeps dragging it to a standstill. I did finally manage to wring (why yes, it IS the word of the day, how did you guess) about 300-500 words of the opening down so I guess that's something.
I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now and thus very, very stressed. Not that I take the stuff, but I do occasionally have days where it feels like mainlining prozac would be a good thing. Tappety, tappety on the vein! ;p
How y'all doing out there?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Dumb question
How are you two following blogs? I can't seem to find where I go to enable this.... *hides in corner*
Friday, January 23, 2009
Today, Today
I mailed my stuff off. Instantly my stress levels went down which is fantastic. I thought I'd be a wreck because the whole process is kind of out of my hands and all I can do is wait to hear back from them.
Instead I'm feeling strangely fine with it...for now. :)
I think I'm just so glad to not be stressing about it for now. I don't have to worry about anything until end of Feb. so I won't. I've done the best I can, the rest is up to them to decide if my best was good enough. But man oh man, I hope it was.
I'm taking the week and doing whatever with it. No pressure, no must do's. If I feel the urge to write, I will. If I don't, I won't and I won't beat myself up over it either.
I need to learn how to relax and accept that I don't have to be productive 24/7. A) because it's just not healthy and B) because I'm pretty sure it's directly responsible for some of the times when I can't seem to get anything down on paper. I had the same problem when I was painting freelance. If I wasn't pulling 12-14 hour days then I was a lazy slacker who was goofing off. Wow way to beat yourself up unnecessarily.
I wish I had a good videogame to play right now though. No reading. Except for the new Fables trade paperback, volume 11. Totally doesn't count. ;)
Instead I'm feeling strangely fine with it...for now. :)
I think I'm just so glad to not be stressing about it for now. I don't have to worry about anything until end of Feb. so I won't. I've done the best I can, the rest is up to them to decide if my best was good enough. But man oh man, I hope it was.
I'm taking the week and doing whatever with it. No pressure, no must do's. If I feel the urge to write, I will. If I don't, I won't and I won't beat myself up over it either.
I need to learn how to relax and accept that I don't have to be productive 24/7. A) because it's just not healthy and B) because I'm pretty sure it's directly responsible for some of the times when I can't seem to get anything down on paper. I had the same problem when I was painting freelance. If I wasn't pulling 12-14 hour days then I was a lazy slacker who was goofing off. Wow way to beat yourself up unnecessarily.
I wish I had a good videogame to play right now though. No reading. Except for the new Fables trade paperback, volume 11. Totally doesn't count. ;)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Heading off to the post office tomorrow to mail away my words. *crosses fingers* Then I'm gonna take a week and not think about writing unless I want to. I'll get back to the grind after that. Hopefully I can get cracking on my word count. I'm sort of revisiting some of my world building though. I think it's percolating in the back of my head. Feels like it. Need to make some decisions on supernatural abilities. I was going to wait till the first draft was done to nail stuff down... But I'm not sure I can. I think it would be better to get a firmer handle on it before I try to go any farther. I confess, I hadn't exactly mapped out all of my character's abilities yet. Bad me.
Finally got a chance to catch up on some people's stories. Glad to see people still plugging away. Lyra you are a freaking word machine! Soleil, post something! ;) heh, yea, cause I have room to talk. ;P Teehee.
I wish I had something new to post. I think barring stuff from the end, I'm out of snippets.
Also, I think it might be time to once again consolidate scenes and such into my 3 main files for this and reorganize scenes into better order. And go over my outline again because I'm sure I've made changes and come up with tweaks since the last time I checked it. Reoganizing is a huge pain, but I usually feel a little better after I do. Man I miss my freaking Writer's Cafe program. *cries* I want my puter back!!!
Finally got a chance to catch up on some people's stories. Glad to see people still plugging away. Lyra you are a freaking word machine! Soleil, post something! ;) heh, yea, cause I have room to talk. ;P Teehee.
I wish I had something new to post. I think barring stuff from the end, I'm out of snippets.
Also, I think it might be time to once again consolidate scenes and such into my 3 main files for this and reorganize scenes into better order. And go over my outline again because I'm sure I've made changes and come up with tweaks since the last time I checked it. Reoganizing is a huge pain, but I usually feel a little better after I do. Man I miss my freaking Writer's Cafe program. *cries* I want my puter back!!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Apparently everything I touch breaks.
So both computers are down and need to be reformatted and OSs reinstalled. The internet finally got fixed on their end, and the comps died, the victim of viruses so new no one has names for them yet, failed hard drives and god only knows what else. Then my only phone decided to eat my money and not give me my service. 3 days and tech support is still "looking into it." I'm pretty sure other things have happened, but I can't remember them atm.
Writing wise I am going over, and over, and over an excerpt I'm using as a submission for the writers workshop I would probably wet myself to get into. I am so sick of looking at it and revising it that I hate it now and think it's crap. It's not, but you know when you've looked at something too long and too many times, yea I'm there right now. The other night I made a bunch of changes on the hard copy, thank god I did because I went to type them in and only about half of them are going in. The rest are wtf was I thinking.
I'm stressed and tired, but still writing or revising almost everyday, even if it's just a little bit and that makes me happy. I also wrote some random silly snippet of something involving a guy, an iguanadog and a quasi-sentient bike. They got zapped with magical lightning by a drunk Fate who was having a temper tantrum about losing a bet to a lecherous Father Time. So yea, not to be taken seriously. :)
Defintely hoping your 2009 is going better than mine. I'm borrowing a friends comp for this so expect the dryspell of internet posts to continue a while longer.
Writing wise I am going over, and over, and over an excerpt I'm using as a submission for the writers workshop I would probably wet myself to get into. I am so sick of looking at it and revising it that I hate it now and think it's crap. It's not, but you know when you've looked at something too long and too many times, yea I'm there right now. The other night I made a bunch of changes on the hard copy, thank god I did because I went to type them in and only about half of them are going in. The rest are wtf was I thinking.
I'm stressed and tired, but still writing or revising almost everyday, even if it's just a little bit and that makes me happy. I also wrote some random silly snippet of something involving a guy, an iguanadog and a quasi-sentient bike. They got zapped with magical lightning by a drunk Fate who was having a temper tantrum about losing a bet to a lecherous Father Time. So yea, not to be taken seriously. :)
Defintely hoping your 2009 is going better than mine. I'm borrowing a friends comp for this so expect the dryspell of internet posts to continue a while longer.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I have been without internet for 10 days now. I will continue to be without internet for I do not know how long. I am displeased.
I was going to leave you with a snippet of something, but I left it at home. Where there is no internet. None at all.
Some people can live just fine without internet. I am not one of those people.
I was going to leave you with a snippet of something, but I left it at home. Where there is no internet. None at all.
Some people can live just fine without internet. I am not one of those people.