You Can Tell That I'm Busy...

...By how much I procrastinate. Hence this post. Well, that and because I found a quote. I'm glad I found it now. Most definitely worth passing on.

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.

"Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

– Ira Glass

Ira Glass is the host and producer of This American Life. Click here for the full original video (runtime 5:20).

SQUEE! Wherein I Tell You Good Things About Myself

Got Final portfolio and marks back for script class.
B+/A- on final script. A- overall grade!
Considering the year I've had and the crazy, crazy non-stop problems, I am very happy with this.

Also got some awesome praise from teacher (not an easy woman to please.) She said my script was very funny! She said I have a really good instinct for comedy, when to back a joke off and when to push it farther. SQUEEEE! She said that I should definitely write more comedy and get my work out there! She said she'd like to see it when it's finished. She also hoped I'd try my hand at theatre again as she liked the way I use visuals in it. She is not just blowing sunshine up my ass. :)

She said more, but I'm too happy to remember it all. Which is good, because I definitely bombed my English Lit exam and possibly the course. Not bombed as in failed (god, I hope I didn't fail the course. I definitely did shit on the exam.), but bombed as in, I'll be happy to have passed this one.

I think I'm sitting good on psych, I did better on my final exam than I thought I would, but not as well as I wanted to and my otherwise stellar mark for that course took a hit from it. Instead of an A/A+, I probably got dropped down to a B of some sort, probably low. Which fucks my GPA up even further (and it was such a pretty GPA too) and irritates me to no end. Booo. Grrr.

Still, barring Lit class I should be sitting at all As and Bs of some sort. And I am trying to be happy with that and put it into proper context. This year really was hell. Every aspect of life got pounded and upturned and fucked around basically nonstop (none of which I put up here cause lets face it, no one likes to read that shit). So, to pull those kinds of marks off despite that, despite the frequent crushing loneliness of not having my lifemate here, despite the learning issues, despite working, fuck yea, I'll take my victory.

Also

I wrote something, lost part of it and can't remember what the rest of it was about. For your amusement you get a snippet of something to do with daily life.

Pretty sure I shouldn't be driving in that state, but, oh well, not like the magic driving fairy is gonna take me.

Oh that's right, I'm supposed to be finishing the new look

Oh my sweet jesus I get to sleep in tomorrow! Perhaps it is a dream?

No, it can't be a dream I'm not:

Staring at my own eyes, which happen to be completely black, and lookin' kinda cool if I say so myself,

Trying to understand the doctor with the terrific-ly bad mumbling problem whose supposed to be looking after me,

Wandering a hospital trying to find a bathroom that doesn't contain visible evidence of someone else's disease all over it,

Lost in the hospital now and unable to find my doctor,

In a scary haunted house with some sort of ultra creepy, demonic witch-woman thing and a bunch of to-stupid-to-live canon fodder

Ch- ch- ch- ch- Changes

Blog undergoing revamp, might be messy for a bit.

W. T. F.

If you want me to do you a favor, it probably shouldn’t involve me MISSING MY FINAL FUCKING EXAM OR THE STUDY TIME LEADING UP TO IT. It probably also shouldn’t involve me RUNNING OVER HELL’S HALF FUCKING ACRES FOR SHIT YOU SHOULD BE DOING BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN FUCKING STUPIDITY. For shizzle.

Now, admittedly, I am a sickly, brain-fogged, frighteningly sleep deprived person, but I’m also pretty goddamn sure it’s illegal to FLIP INTO THE LEFT HAND TURNING LANE to make a RIGHT HAND TURN AROUND MY VEHICLE which is STOPPED AT A VERY RED LIGHT. But I am sickly and sleep-deprived so who knows, maybe they have, in fact, changed basic driving laws.

Amazing. I’ve been up for less than two hours and all ready this is what I’ve had to deal with.

Can Stop Now.

Life has been piling the shit on me lately. The pit is deep. The shovel doing the piling is large.

Finally realized exhaustion is from nasty, nasty mold problem I've been fighting (in my house) without even knowing it.
Losing battle.
As in, I can't get rid of it (think it's not just in my room), and symptoms getting worse and worse. Need to move, but everything's so up in the air I don't know if I should be looking for somewhere here or Nanaimo where I'll be attending school come Sept.(assuming the strike ever ends...) Exhaustion, memory problems and other severe allergic reactions I'm having are making this last push on finals and projects crazy hard. It's like waking up to slow asphyxiation every fucking morning with my face swollen and sinus/breathing passages all swollen, blocked and tender.

Can't plan summer at all. Not even one tiny bit. Not helping.

This has been one hell of a fucking year so far. Even since July*. Trying to stay positive, but I'm worn down and beyond tired. Which I keep saying, because it's true, but because I keep dragging along the ground people keep dismissing it. Maybe I should collapse?

I am more than ready for things to 180 on me and get awesome. MORE THAN READY.

I feel bad. I've posted virtually nothing funny as of late. Hopefully soon.

* Edited because I am tired and it took me a few days to realize that the last few months of old job in old province were equally hellish, just in different ways. Worse ways because I wasn't doing what I loved.

Title? Brain? Huzzwha?

Boy howdy I loves me the smart people who don't take the fucking time to READ, READ GODDAMN YOU ILLITERATE HOBO-FUCKERS!

Shhhhh we're not going to point out the incongruity of telling illiterate's to read. I am exhausted and teh funnehs is hard atm.