Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
No New Words :(
The last few days have consisted of nothing, but running around putting out fires. All I've wanted to do is tuck myself away and write. So far it has been denied me.
Actually that's not fair. I did one good thing. I had a lovely time lunching with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Everything else has been fire extinguishing.
I'm hoping I can haz word count tomorrow, even if it is Sunday. And some rest, because I am tired. Tired of putting out fires.
Also, I want a fancy schmancy word counter, but there's no point since I have no idea how long my story will be. I supposed I could stick some arbitrary number in there. hehehe maybe I should make it the exact same as my word count for the night. ;P
Actually that's not fair. I did one good thing. I had a lovely time lunching with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Everything else has been fire extinguishing.
I'm hoping I can haz word count tomorrow, even if it is Sunday. And some rest, because I am tired. Tired of putting out fires.
Also, I want a fancy schmancy word counter, but there's no point since I have no idea how long my story will be. I supposed I could stick some arbitrary number in there. hehehe maybe I should make it the exact same as my word count for the night. ;P
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Word count
This probably won't be a regular thing, me posting word counts, but here's one anyways!
As of right now I'm at 5200. I'm hoping to get some more down tonight, we'll see.
New story doesn't really have a title. My "I need something to call it" title is Shadow Walker. Very Urban Fantasy with some light science fiction tech-type elements to it as well. Not crazy tech, little better than ours. Probably on the grim and gritty side.
There you have it.
As of right now I'm at 5200. I'm hoping to get some more down tonight, we'll see.
New story doesn't really have a title. My "I need something to call it" title is Shadow Walker. Very Urban Fantasy with some light science fiction tech-type elements to it as well. Not crazy tech, little better than ours. Probably on the grim and gritty side.
There you have it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Anyone still even following this?
If so, man you are wonderfully patient. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Life has been busy and up and down and everything. I owe a few people blog/journal/post responses and I am SORRY for those as well. :( I r very bad.
Writing news. First, the bad news. I am putting my 2YN novel aside for now. I dun thoughts long and hard about this, but I think it's the right decision for now. There is something wrong with it, but I don't know what and it's driving me to the point where I haven't been able to write anything meaningful in months. Even when I think I have my plot fuck ups ironed out... something still doesn't seem right. Being that this was my first attempt at a novel, this was very much a learning/growing experience. But it's stalled horribly and until I can figure it out I need to put it aside for now. I AM going to come back to it because I still believe very strongly in the story and characters. I'm not sure how a story can speak this strongly to me and still not be working, but such is the case.
Instead of spinning my wheels on it, I'm choosing to try a different route with the next one. To start with, I'm keeping the plot of this one much simpler. I had WAY too many secret agendas and double crosses in the old one. It was a pretty ambitious first piece admittedly. It wasn't meant to be, but apparently I have a hard time telling a simple story. I must complicate matters. :) Fun, but oh the ulcers it brings.
After much book reading, information consumption, thinking and percolating, I have decided to work with of my other ideas. I wanted to make sure I had a better plan for this one (in as much as I plan these things) and there were a few things I specifically wanted to do differently this time around. I think I've done that, finally.
The new story is more organized (though still nothing compared to most outliners I'm sure) and I'm taking pains to make sure I keep everything in a very small number of documents and paper. I'm also trying several new ideas out in regards to plotting, outlining and writing. I will not edit what's already been written. I love doing it, but it is a deep, dark well to fall into. I am going to try very hard to write in order this time. It sort of helps that I don't have a middle or ending planned, (ok lemme clarify, I have the plot idea and the vague way I want things to go, in general overall, but I don't have the ending scenes practically jumping for the page). Basically I don't have random scene ideas coming to me out of the blue yet. I am writing a tiny bit out of sync occasionally (as in three paragraphs down, not 12 chapters), but I get a bit of it, then go back to what I was writing and catch up. How long can I keep that up? we'll see. As long as I can.
I think the whole process took so long for a couple of reasons. 1) I really didn't want to let it go. I really wanted to figure out what was wrong with it and fix it. 2) Once I finally decided that was what I needed to do, I still had to come to terms with it. 3) I was depressed at my perceived failing. 4) I had to decide which story idea I would work with instead and how I was going to do things differently this time.
Having said all that, yesterday night I finally started the actual story writing. Between last night and today I've gotten about 3500 words down. Not a bad start.
I'm going to try very, very hard (without managing to stress myself out about it) to keep the momentum going. Every few scenes, I'm going to stop writing and briefly outline several scenes (broken up into smaller chunks). Then I'll write them out, see where things are headed and do the next chunk of scenes with that in mind, while ALSO keeping in mind the overall story plot and plan. I'm really hoping this works.
I'm also telling myself very firmly that a less than perfect first draft is normal and acceptable. I tell myself this about, oh, 50 times a day at least. For realz yo. I think it's even sinking in!
As much as I hate to give up, like the good man says, sometimes, you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em... I WILL be revisiting it someday.
Failing made me incredibly depressed and it got to the point where I just couldn't read people's posts. It's not that I'm not happy for everyone because I really am. But I kept seeing it as a constant reminder that I was fucking up. Not very helpful.
I'm going to try to get back into posting. I spent pretty much all day writing and when I get the momentum and muse I'm pretty loathe to fuck with it in any way, so I say try and not do for good reason.
Good night all, the "State of the union" the war and peace version is done finally. Sleep well.
Writing news. First, the bad news. I am putting my 2YN novel aside for now. I dun thoughts long and hard about this, but I think it's the right decision for now. There is something wrong with it, but I don't know what and it's driving me to the point where I haven't been able to write anything meaningful in months. Even when I think I have my plot fuck ups ironed out... something still doesn't seem right. Being that this was my first attempt at a novel, this was very much a learning/growing experience. But it's stalled horribly and until I can figure it out I need to put it aside for now. I AM going to come back to it because I still believe very strongly in the story and characters. I'm not sure how a story can speak this strongly to me and still not be working, but such is the case.
Instead of spinning my wheels on it, I'm choosing to try a different route with the next one. To start with, I'm keeping the plot of this one much simpler. I had WAY too many secret agendas and double crosses in the old one. It was a pretty ambitious first piece admittedly. It wasn't meant to be, but apparently I have a hard time telling a simple story. I must complicate matters. :) Fun, but oh the ulcers it brings.
After much book reading, information consumption, thinking and percolating, I have decided to work with of my other ideas. I wanted to make sure I had a better plan for this one (in as much as I plan these things) and there were a few things I specifically wanted to do differently this time around. I think I've done that, finally.
The new story is more organized (though still nothing compared to most outliners I'm sure) and I'm taking pains to make sure I keep everything in a very small number of documents and paper. I'm also trying several new ideas out in regards to plotting, outlining and writing. I will not edit what's already been written. I love doing it, but it is a deep, dark well to fall into. I am going to try very hard to write in order this time. It sort of helps that I don't have a middle or ending planned, (ok lemme clarify, I have the plot idea and the vague way I want things to go, in general overall, but I don't have the ending scenes practically jumping for the page). Basically I don't have random scene ideas coming to me out of the blue yet. I am writing a tiny bit out of sync occasionally (as in three paragraphs down, not 12 chapters), but I get a bit of it, then go back to what I was writing and catch up. How long can I keep that up? we'll see. As long as I can.
I think the whole process took so long for a couple of reasons. 1) I really didn't want to let it go. I really wanted to figure out what was wrong with it and fix it. 2) Once I finally decided that was what I needed to do, I still had to come to terms with it. 3) I was depressed at my perceived failing. 4) I had to decide which story idea I would work with instead and how I was going to do things differently this time.
Having said all that, yesterday night I finally started the actual story writing. Between last night and today I've gotten about 3500 words down. Not a bad start.
I'm going to try very, very hard (without managing to stress myself out about it) to keep the momentum going. Every few scenes, I'm going to stop writing and briefly outline several scenes (broken up into smaller chunks). Then I'll write them out, see where things are headed and do the next chunk of scenes with that in mind, while ALSO keeping in mind the overall story plot and plan. I'm really hoping this works.
I'm also telling myself very firmly that a less than perfect first draft is normal and acceptable. I tell myself this about, oh, 50 times a day at least. For realz yo. I think it's even sinking in!
As much as I hate to give up, like the good man says, sometimes, you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em... I WILL be revisiting it someday.
Failing made me incredibly depressed and it got to the point where I just couldn't read people's posts. It's not that I'm not happy for everyone because I really am. But I kept seeing it as a constant reminder that I was fucking up. Not very helpful.
I'm going to try to get back into posting. I spent pretty much all day writing and when I get the momentum and muse I'm pretty loathe to fuck with it in any way, so I say try and not do for good reason.
Good night all, the "State of the union" the war and peace version is done finally. Sleep well.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Soooo I've been pretty quiet lately both here and in 2YN. At the risk of sounding unnecessarily dramatic, I think I'm going to continue to take a break from both. The thing is, my word count is moving at a glacially slow pace. I spend more time mired deep in writer's block than I do out of it. I'm not having fun writing because I'm too busy stressing hugely over writing. I try to keep the fun part in mind, but when my mind goes into blank, stress city every fucking time, it's kind of hard to maintain a sense of fun and enjoyment. I don't know why this keeps happening other than a profoundly deep rooted fear of failure, success or probably both knowing me.
It's not enough to have people tell me "You'll get over it" or "just write" etc. If I could "just write" I would. I don't want to go into great detail, partly because I just don't want to, and partly because I just don't know what's at the root of it. I do try to read the blogs I'm following, even if I don't post much. Sorry for that, I dunno, I just find it hard lately to post about anything, even the happy comments for others in my head.
But they're there and I'm wishing everyone the best. :)
It's not enough to have people tell me "You'll get over it" or "just write" etc. If I could "just write" I would. I don't want to go into great detail, partly because I just don't want to, and partly because I just don't know what's at the root of it. I do try to read the blogs I'm following, even if I don't post much. Sorry for that, I dunno, I just find it hard lately to post about anything, even the happy comments for others in my head.
But they're there and I'm wishing everyone the best. :)