I promised you an update on my Adventures in Dehydrating didn't I? Goddamn I'm a horrible person for not having that.
Ok, ok, tiny update. Meat is marinating (hahaha I misspelled that merindating. My meat is dating! A Merin! It better come home at a reasonable hour or I swear to god I'll be on my nonexistent porch with a shotgun loaded full with buckshot.). Was going to get it ready and in the dehydrator, until I remembered I have an appointment and didn't want to be gone when it's done and then come home to jerky so dry it makes the Sahara look like an ocean. Helllll no. So that'll have to wait til late tonight or possibly tomorrow. Probably tonight since I don't seem to sleep much anymore, anyways. Maybe I'm evolving?
Wouldn't it be cool if I evolved into some sort of terminator***? Or a Velociraptor** that could speak and had opposable* thumbs!
Anyways, once the meat is done I'll probably let you know. Sometime this year. What with my stellar update record and all.
*Spellcheck doesn't like opposable thumbs. Well I do, so fuck off spellcheck. Don't take my thumbs away from me.
**Apparently spellcheck also isn't fond of Velociraptors. Bit harder to argue that one I suppose, what with all the death and maiming and bad media coverage they've gotten. I suppose it's deserved. But I would be a kindly veloci- oh who am I kidding. I'd lay waste to so much shit it would be hilarious. It wouldn't start funny, but then I'd take it so far it became funny after all. Like those stupid fucking jokes Family Guy likes to beat into the ground, piss on, then prop up with a stick and jump start with a little petroleum jelly and some jumper cables. You know, the real heavy duty ones. Except I hate those Family Guy jokes and almost never find them funny at any point so ignore that last analogy, it's terrible.
*** I don't give a goddamn fuck about your "theories of evolution" bullshit, we are totally capable of evolving into Terminators and opposable thumbed Velociraptors who can talk. Sleep tight.
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