I Am Jacks- yes yes I know, quoting Fight Club still after all these years is sad I know

Word count this week was pathetic. Hoping I make up some major words today. Also, trying to figure out the structure of social and ruling hierarchies is driving me crazy. Like, punch a wall crazy. Or should I say attack-wall-vigorously-with-head crazy. I fear this is more accurate. I do not need this right now. Do I? So why won't my brain drop the fucking thing already and let me move on. Does it know something I don't... or just dipping into one of its many tangent/ time-wasters?

Desire to do old-school, cool fantasy story will not leave me be. Cannot do this write now. Haha I think I made a funny, but it's still too terribly early so it could just be stupid. If I had a pen'n'paper to play I could probably get the feeling to ease up. I do not have this. I am grumpy. A steady diet of RPG and writing goodness is vital to my survival. Vitamin RPG deficient? Haha more funnies! Youuu finnnd this fuuuuunnnnnyyyyyyy. *waves Canadian mind control device* My god, I just tried to randomly capitalize the beginning of each of those words for no reason. Too tired. Stopping now before someone gets hurt.

Dragging my heals, I'm doing it right...

on research today for some reason. I don't particularly want to research dueling even though I actually do find it to be a rather interesting subject. I sort of just want to write, but I'm running out of scenes that don't require research. I feel like I'm getting bogged down and don't know where to pick up from and start writing again. Strange I know. I keep going over my outline and most the scenes (even the exciting ones) aren't grabbing me like they usually do. It's been like this for a while. Have I lost the love for my story? wtf.

The hardest parts for me to write, I think, are the transition scenes that you have to have to move from one important moment to the next. (start sarcasm)What? I can't write all action and conflict all the time? (end sarcasm) well poo.

Alright, enough whining.

I haz an Outline!

Well, what passes for one for me at least. It's done. Whew!

I also have a tentative title. Now to hammer out some of the noticed plot problems and then get back to writing.

Hopefully starting a new job soon and am taking one course this semester so between all that finding time to write could be problematic. I will do mah bestest.

I'm officially the farthest in plotting and writing of anything I've ever done. I've got about 30-40 thousand words actually written for this story. More if you want to count the copious amount of notes I've made for it. Most of which didn't make it into the outline I posted on 2YN. Damn thing's big enough as it is.

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

I'm very behind in my 2yn assignments. Something I am in the process of trying to remedy. It's my hope to get caught up completely this week.

Why? Why when I come up with story ideas do I invariably have a beginning, frequently an ending and never a middle. Nev.Er. Ever. This drives me crazy. If I were the type that still indulged in the alcohol I assure you this quirk would drive me to drink till I was draped over my computer alternating between praying to and beating it senselessly. A bucket would be close by.