Warning: This Post is Angry and Depressing, You May wish to Skip It.

You know what would be awesome? Sleep. You know what else would be awesome? If the assholes who play their music on volume 11 every fucking night would stop. Cops won't do jack about it (no seriously, they won't, you're welcome to come try, I know I have) and I can't go knock on their door and ask them to turn it down because I'm pretty sure that they're one of the drug dealers in the building. Drug dealers as a whole don't tend to be the most thoughtful people going and I don't fancy getting my tires slashed or my window smashed.

I fucking hate this apartment complex. Go me, I accidentily wound up in one of the shittiest neighborhoods in Nanaimo. I can't even give myself shit for this terrible decision because at the time I; a) hadn't slept in several days, b) was in a state of for-real-no-exaggeration 24/7 extreme anxiety at the time and having daily panic attacks and thus not exactly what you'd call functioning let alone possessing of acute mental powers (or rational thought), c) desperate, d) it was, believe it or not, the best of the bunch out of the apartments I looked at, and e) one of the few affordable suites* on the market at that time.

Getting between 0-3 hours of sleep a night makes it kinda hard to function. In case any of you were considering experimenting let me give you some advice. Don't. Instead, try shooting yourself in the foot, I promise it's less painful and less of a hassle to deal with.

If I could at least use the extra time to catch up on homework, that would be something, but I'm too tired to concentrate or read or anything. It's very hard to maintain a positive outlook under these circumstances.

School is important to me. Doing well is important to me. Getting sleep is important to me. Right now, all of these things are being severely impaired. It would help if I felt like I had options I could exercise instead of feeling helpless and angry and impotent and completely dis-empowered by the whole situation. I had to sign a lease (which I really didn't want to do) so I'm stuck here until... May, I think. Possibly later? Oh God, I hope not.

*And I use the term affordable in the loosest of ways. Affordable meaning, it broke the bank slightly less than other suites (again, some of whom were in worse condition, but somehow still costing more. Fascinating!)


Ok, I will stop now. I had to get some of that off my chest.