Defiantly Thumbing My Nose at Negativity

Quietly, from behind a tree. Where it can't see me.

Life is completely fucked at the moment, hence the silence. When one has the bottom dropped out from under one's feet in all areas of life, one finds it difficult to make funny blog posts. Also, I have no idea why I used one there and not me.

So here is a bunch of random shit to entertain you, now that I'm not living out of my car.

Email to Most Beloved following up a text he sent me:
Here is my recommendation on the exact look to give someone crowding you in line who isn't a puppy or a super model.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiV7M8Llkxo

Also, I've decided to take offense over your desire to have super models standing too close to you, invading your personal space*. I've decided the best response is to punch both you, and the super model in question. But mostly you, because, while the supermodel might suspect that someone as amazing and sexy as you has someone in their life, she doesn't know it. You do.


Another email exchange:
Most Beloved: I think the dehydrator is against the back wall in line with the weight bench. Don't know if you can climb back there and get it or not. On second thought the way things have been going do not attempt to climb back there and get it. I repeat please do not try and climb over stuff in storage to get it. :)

My Reply: What could possibly go wrong with me climbing all over unstable furniture in a storage facility devoid of people and frequently crawling with spiders**?


Random: Aahh the bass is going strong tonight. It's gonna be a good night in squalorville. It's gonna be a good night in squalorville***!


Random: I shall do nothing today that I do not want to. And I shall thumb my nose at negativity (only quietly, and from behind a bush so it can't stomp me with its fist of pain)!

Hmmmm I recall at one point being able to embed a video here instead of just the link. But it's not letting me do that.


*Puppies are OK. Unless they start giving him the eye. Then they get punched. And don't start in on me with some bullshit about puppies and cognitive processes, I'm feeling punchy.

**I have extreme arachnophobia. Extreme. I would explain how bad it is, but the explanation would actually terrify me and cause a panic attack and I'm having enough of those lately thank you.

*** Slightly altered reference to an old, disturbing Much Music commercial. So disturbing I loved it.