Dumb question

How are you two following blogs? I can't seem to find where I go to enable this.... *hides in corner*

Today, Today

I mailed my stuff off. Instantly my stress levels went down which is fantastic. I thought I'd be a wreck because the whole process is kind of out of my hands and all I can do is wait to hear back from them.
Instead I'm feeling strangely fine with it...for now. :)

I think I'm just so glad to not be stressing about it for now. I don't have to worry about anything until end of Feb. so I won't. I've done the best I can, the rest is up to them to decide if my best was good enough. But man oh man, I hope it was.

I'm taking the week and doing whatever with it. No pressure, no must do's. If I feel the urge to write, I will. If I don't, I won't and I won't beat myself up over it either.

I need to learn how to relax and accept that I don't have to be productive 24/7. A) because it's just not healthy and B) because I'm pretty sure it's directly responsible for some of the times when I can't seem to get anything down on paper. I had the same problem when I was painting freelance. If I wasn't pulling 12-14 hour days then I was a lazy slacker who was goofing off. Wow way to beat yourself up unnecessarily.

I wish I had a good videogame to play right now though. No reading. Except for the new Fables trade paperback, volume 11. Totally doesn't count. ;)

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Heading off to the post office tomorrow to mail away my words. *crosses fingers* Then I'm gonna take a week and not think about writing unless I want to. I'll get back to the grind after that. Hopefully I can get cracking on my word count. I'm sort of revisiting some of my world building though. I think it's percolating in the back of my head. Feels like it. Need to make some decisions on supernatural abilities. I was going to wait till the first draft was done to nail stuff down... But I'm not sure I can. I think it would be better to get a firmer handle on it before I try to go any farther. I confess, I hadn't exactly mapped out all of my character's abilities yet. Bad me.

Finally got a chance to catch up on some people's stories. Glad to see people still plugging away. Lyra you are a freaking word machine! Soleil, post something! ;) heh, yea, cause I have room to talk. ;P Teehee.

I wish I had something new to post. I think barring stuff from the end, I'm out of snippets.

Also, I think it might be time to once again consolidate scenes and such into my 3 main files for this and reorganize scenes into better order. And go over my outline again because I'm sure I've made changes and come up with tweaks since the last time I checked it. Reoganizing is a huge pain, but I usually feel a little better after I do. Man I miss my freaking Writer's Cafe program. *cries* I want my puter back!!!

Apparently everything I touch breaks.

So both computers are down and need to be reformatted and OSs reinstalled. The internet finally got fixed on their end, and the comps died, the victim of viruses so new no one has names for them yet, failed hard drives and god only knows what else. Then my only phone decided to eat my money and not give me my service. 3 days and tech support is still "looking into it." I'm pretty sure other things have happened, but I can't remember them atm.

Writing wise I am going over, and over, and over an excerpt I'm using as a submission for the writers workshop I would probably wet myself to get into. I am so sick of looking at it and revising it that I hate it now and think it's crap. It's not, but you know when you've looked at something too long and too many times, yea I'm there right now. The other night I made a bunch of changes on the hard copy, thank god I did because I went to type them in and only about half of them are going in. The rest are wtf was I thinking.

I'm stressed and tired, but still writing or revising almost everyday, even if it's just a little bit and that makes me happy. I also wrote some random silly snippet of something involving a guy, an iguanadog and a quasi-sentient bike. They got zapped with magical lightning by a drunk Fate who was having a temper tantrum about losing a bet to a lecherous Father Time. So yea, not to be taken seriously. :)

Defintely hoping your 2009 is going better than mine. I'm borrowing a friends comp for this so expect the dryspell of internet posts to continue a while longer.

I have been without internet for 10 days now. I will continue to be without internet for I do not know how long. I am displeased.

I was going to leave you with a snippet of something, but I left it at home. Where there is no internet. None at all.

Some people can live just fine without internet. I am not one of those people.

Turtles Move Faster.

'Bout 500 words give or take so far this week. That's it. It's like wading through molasses I swear. What happened to the energy and elation of not that long ago?

I know, I know, at least it's something. Honestly, I'm tired of saying that to myself. I miss the several thousand word frenzies. I miss the joy of writing haze. I miss having something to put on paper. I miss being able to look at what's supposed to be there and just, you know, writing it. I wanted to spend most of my holiday time coming up just writing furiously. I'm not sure how reasonable that is.

I want to enjoy it, but I also have goals in my head regarding it. Time goals. Goals that are not giving me any peace. Goals I cannot put away and just forget about. Even for a little bit. My schedule is starting to make me frustrated. The lack of writing is making me frustrated.

My Head Still Hurts.

If you don't play WoW, ignore this. Instead imagine a magical place where Tacos, Camels and guys named Paco all live in blissful harmony. Happy, er, people doing happy, people things. They laugh and dance and cavort together. Well, they did until they decided to laugh and dance and cavort in the pool and Taco... lets just say Paco and the Camel will miss him...


I WANT to buy the new WoW expansion and play. The want crawls up my spine and does things like whisper in my ear and force me to read forums posts on all the changes and latest spec trends.

I could pointlessly continue to level my enhancement shammy which I love, but isn't generally wanted in raid spots. Especially now that the (mmm death knights *drool*) death knights are out and can tank, out dps me AND replace several of the buffs I was wanted on raids for. And yes, for an undergeared, rarely gets to raid, shammy, I do quite well actually. I'd be practically guaranteed spots in raids and dungeons if I specced resto, but here's the thing. I hate healing. I'm moderately good at it, but I don't enjoy it. I took a class with healing abilities only so I could heal myself because I knew I was likely to end up soloing everything. And I did. WoW has a serious shortage of healers and an even larger shortage of good healers. Tanks and healers are almost always guaranteed a spot, why didn't I roll a tank then, especially since I like tanking? I don't know, because the shaman class sounded fun. And I'd say about half the time it was. I dunno I sort of wish I'd leveled something else. I like my shaman, I like her utility and she's always interesting. No one button mashing here. And after playing a rogue (which I absolutely loved to bits, but this was back when there were too many and again didn’t bring enough utility to raids) I wanted something I thought would be more desired in dungeons and was slightly less squishy and could heal myself. And shamans are desired…as long as you roll resto. Plus I love the Dranei race and they can't be druids. I shoulda been a druid, tanking, healing, stealthin', I could have done it all. I miss stealthin'. Ah well, the though of re-leveling (even a yummy death knight) bores me. I want new content, not to slog through the old again. Not with a new expansion out at least. At least DKs start at 55 instead of first level. This is something…

For now I continue to resist. It'll be a month or so of possible fun, followed by the inevitable frustration of not having a core group of people to play with and run through the content I really want to see.